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The Day After Independence

It’s 3 a.m., so this should be a short post. I should, after all, be sound asleep. However, it’s time to pay some of the cost of celebration. I’ll get to that in a second, but first, “celebration,” you say? Yes! Remember that I’m one of those lucky souls who knows several homes. I’m an American, but I’ve chosen to live in the United Kingdom for the last decade of my life, which makes July 4th a complex day, to say the least. Most people, even here, know that the 4th of July is American Independence Day. Although my neighbour […]

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Ella

Late night

It’s 3:00 in the morning. This is ridiculous! I should be asleep! I woke up to find that Chipmunk had crawled in to bed beside me. I look at her sweet face, and thoughts are rushing into my mind that I just need to record.  My heart is hurting as I look at her. Last night she snuck downstairs after she should have been asleep, saying she was scared and asking if I could say a prayer with her before she went back to bed. (How am I supposed to say no to that?) She cuddled into my lap, and […]

Thoughts for Tonight

This is just one of those nights where my emotions are torn in so many directions. Receiving my formal diagnosis left me feeling relieved, but weary, so I haven’t written this week as I’ve collected myself again. Then after that, my mind has been full with some pressing concerns of some clients I work with. Sometimes being a therapist is simultaneously a burden and an honour, and the trick is to learn to navigate as safely as you can to a place where you keep perspective and can still see forward. It has also been a reflective day today as […]

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Result!!

I am shattered! I mean completely bone tired with friends visiting from Idaho, fixing my broken car, oh, and my rheumatology appointment! So this won’t be a long post, but I really can’t go without writing something today, because I was officially diagnosed today. It’s official now: Ehlers-Danlos Sydrome, Type III, complicated by Fibromyalgia (EDS type 3, by the way, is the same thing as hypermobility type; it’s just an older classification system that some doctors still like to use.) As many with EDS say, “today, I got my stripes! I’m officially a zebra.” Looks like I’m part of the […]

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Doubt!

I know I said I was going to write the second part of my loss post, but can I just take a moment to share some thoughts first? It’s what has been on my mind this weekend. I will finish that post, I promise, but that’s a topic that takes some time and thought, and right this moment, I just want to get this out. I’m reeling a bit. See, I went to physiotherapy this week. Now physio in and of itself shouldn’t be anything remarkable, but I have to admit, this week put me into a bit of a […]

The Child Who Was Never Born2

My Discovery Through Loss (Part I)

Miscarriage. It’s one of those things you aren’t supposed to talk about, isn’t it? “Wait until your first ultrasound scan at 12 weeks to announce, that way you don’t have to tell anyone if you lose the baby.” It’s one of those great, unspoken secrets that so many of us experience, and yet we speak of it in hushed tones–if we speak of it at all. Well, today I reached a meaningful personal milestone, so I’m going to talk about it–social taboo or not. I’ll come back to the milestone later, because it has a lot to do with where […]

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Fear!

This week my opportunity to finally move toward a proper diagnosis finally presented itself after I’ve waited for months for my referral to come through and following years of searching with many doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, chiropractors, even an acupuncturist at one point . . . and . . . I nearly blew it. You see, I finally got my letter last week that a space was available for me to see the specialist I need to make things happen. I was told I needed to telephone for an appointment within a week, and despite this being one of my most […]

Zebra Black and White

Who Knew? I’m a Zebra!

  Yes! You heard me right! I’ve come to a realization that my entire life I have, in fact, been a zebra. Not only that, at least two of my children are also zebras. Chipmunk for sure is, although I’m waiting for verification, and Tidbit, oh she’ll be one too, almost certainly. Tigger? Well, the verdict is still out there. The current evidence says probably not, although she has a few traits, so it could be. I also believe my mother is of the striped persuasion, although we haven’t really been able to talk about it much. It’s not really […]